"A Near Life Experience" - Drasle Tome Volume I

Recently I had a dream.......I should pause here because the fact that I am writing about a dream I had is amazing in of itself because I never remember any of them 5 minutes after I wake up. So the fact that I am recalling one probably means it was significant.

And it was. I vividly remember standing on a street like any other street with houses and cars. But as I was standing there a black tornado was approaching from the horizon behind me. And as it bore down on me, it was engulfing the entire sky and earth in its path. All I wanted to do was run and find a way to escape.......but I couldn't because there was no where to go. And I remember feeling the most emptiest, horrible feeling anyone could ever feel. But in that moment I saw life, and my life clearer than I have ever saw it before. Overwhelmed by shame for all the stupid mistakes that I have made and angered by all the time I wasted on meaningless endeavors. And the only thing I could have ever wanted or needed in that moment was to change my life, but I couldn't because it was too late. And I felt so hopeless.

.....And then I woke up and realized it was all a nightmare, yet the sense of despair still lingered. And I'm glad it did because even though I knew I couldn't undo my sins, I knew from that point on I had time and the opportunity to live up to my fullest potential. Of course if I allow myself to get caught up in everyday life it will only be a matter of time before I fall back into the same cycles of emptiness I've lived in. So the challenge is incorporating the theory into practice, easier said than done, right?

There's only been 2 instances in my life where I've felt completely consumed by dread: one conscious, and this one sub-conscious. Either enough to be life changing, if one could successfully change their life from it. I only wish it were possible to embrace this dire sensation whenever I'm once again falling into the trappings of this life and my mind and soul need clarity. So why is it that we can't learn how to live until we're face to face with death?