Where are they now?

Every once in a while I like to do a little research and discover what my favorite actors as a child have been up to since I last saw them. And since I’m pretty much out of touch with pop culture, I usually have absolutely no clue what I will find.

Jeremy Miller – Jeremy is most well-known for his forgettable role as the youngest Seaver boy, Ben, in the forgettable series Growing Pains; he seemed poised for greatness. But when the series was unfortunately cancelled in ’92, I, along with the rest of the world, wondered what would become of such a promising young star.

It turns out since Growing Pains, growing up has been a pain (ba-dap-psssh!) as Jer and I have had the exact same number of professional acting roles, zero. I mean what the heck, I do more acting at my crappy job on a daily basis than this guy has done in the past 15 years; someone give this man a job. Am I the only one that remembers that phenomenal scene in that one episode of Growing Pains where he did some emotional acting well? I’m sure there was one…………..apparently McDonald’s took notice, because I think I literally just saw him in a Dollar Menuaire’s commercial. A little bit older, a little bit harrier, a lot a bit heavier, but that is definitely him. Wow, that commercial is horrible, I hate McDonald’s.

Jodie Sweetin – Jodie played Stephanie, the cute-as-a-button little girl who always got overshadowed by that adorable little angel Michelle (I wonder whatever happened to the actress that played her?), in the seminal series Full House. I always felt we had this special connection being that she's only a month older than me and we both like to do jazz dance (what?). But it seemed as she went, the show went, so it came as no surprise when she hit puberty and made the show awkward for everyone involved, it got cancelled. I cried.

Since the show, it turns out Jod separated from acting in pursuit of a normal life. She went to college, joined a sorority, formed a crystal meth addiction, got married...wait.....formed a crystal meth addiction?!……..HOLY CRAP!! This is exactly why I love to find out what my favorite actors of yesteryear have been up to after all this time. This was the same girl that wouldn’t take a hit of a cigarette in the girl’s bathroom, how does she end up getting addicted to crank? And here I thought Uncle Jesse fell onto hard times when he started appearing in 10-10-987 commercials.

Thankfully Jod is now clean and sober and appears to have gotten her life together. But in another shocking revelation, Jodie recently announced that she was adopted. Well duh, I think everyone already knew Bob Saget wasn’t your real father, I mean the dude IS Bob Saget after all, that would just be creepy. What’s next, are you going to drop another bomb and tell us that the role of Michelle in Full House was actually played by a set of twins?

Christine Lakin – Christine played Al in the awful series Step by Step. The only reason I cared about this show was because Christine was freakin’ HOTT (yeah, two “t’s” for emphasis). Which proved how stupid this show was because she was cast as some tomboyish chic, when she should have been portraying my girlfriend -- wait, what?? Besides Christine, the only thing I remember about this show was it had the dude from Dallas, the chic from Three’s Company, and no plot. Making it fit perfectly into TGIF’s line-up and giving me an excuse to never stay home on Fridays, which ultimately led to me becoming an alcoholic. Thanks ABC! (note: I am kidding about being alcoholic, grandma, you don't have to hold a surprise intervention for me.)

A few years after Step by Step was canned, Chris apparently found her way into the movie Reefer Madness. I'm kicking myself right now for missing a film as critically acclaimed as this one. Oww. More recently she has been appearing in Nick Cannon’s Wild ‘N Out (yeah, that Nick Cannon), a bootleg version of Whose Line Is it, Anyway?, which is a bootleg version of something that’s supposed to be funny, but isn’t.

So yeah, she’s essentially been out of work, and it saddens me to find out she’s not nearly as hot as she used to be. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, because personality is much more important to me anyway, but she is on Wild N’ Out, so, so much for that. Final analysis, she tried to bring sexy back, but only got store credit.