"I Love This Game!"

Sorry for the lack of updates, I was once again captivated by the NBA Playoffs, but now that they’re over, as far as I’m concerned, I am back. But speaking of the playoffs, how do the potentially best playoffs ever after round 1, suddenly become must not see TV after round 2? Seriously, what the heck just happened? The Baby Bulls had finally grown up, the Suns looked poised to win it all, the Mavs got roundhoused, and the Warriors were the greatest playoff story ever. It was freakin’ awesome.

Then over past 2 weeks, it was like someone changed the channel from Seinfeld to The New Adventures of Old Christine as Phoenix got a wicked knee to their package, the Bulls looked like bull deng, and Golden State looked like a bad intramural squad. (Note to the Warriors: you are allowed to shoot inside the 3-point line.) How do you dominate a 67 win team in Dallas only you get obliterated by the Jazz? The Utah freakin’ Jazz??

These guys were ready to enter a depression clinic after their first 2 games with the Rockets. You would think Carlos Boozer was 9 feet tall given the fact he alone grabbed twice as many rebounds as your entire team in the series. I guess it didn’t help that your true fans were substituted with bandwagoners and wealthy socialites disintegrating your home court advantage.

I loved the fact that a bunch of rich people in the Bay Area, like everyone else in the country, saw how amazing the atmosphere was at Oracle Arena during the 1st round series against the Mavericks, and were like I’m so going to be a part of that next round. And then next round came and all these duffers weeded out all the people that made the Oracle rock in the first place.

Nice job, guys. Next time just learn to enjoy the games from the comfort of your own home or local alcohole, I mean just because I’m absolutely enthralled by The Hills doesn’t mean I’m going to go and try to hit on LC and punch that one guy in the face to become a part of the experience.

You knew after the Warriors gave away Game 1 and 2 in Utah, the series was over. These were games they would have won last series, but thanks in part to that series where they just started throwing crazy haymakers as soon as the bell rang, they drained themselves so much physically, mentally, and emotionally they didn’t have the fortitude to sustain a 12-round fight. And how is anyone going to be able to essentially win 6 out 7 games? Golden State, however, can take solace in the fact they weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place and everyone knew they weren’t going to win it all anyway, so at least they were able to accomplish something special in the process.

Phoenix, however, was supposed to be there and thanks to the Mavericks’ early exclusion, were the frontrunners to take home the championship. That was until the Spurs reminded everyone that they own the Suns like a used athletic supporter. Not that their ownage is legitimate, thanks to them having the black Pigpen in Bruce Bowen, they proved it’s sometimes better to be bad than good. Unfortunately their badness doesn't end there as they also have Manu Ginobli who falls down when breathed on, a tear jerked TIMMAEEEEEEE! (seriously, everyone time a foul is called on him his eyes explode out of his head and arms go flailing like he was just accused of rape, clearly he has never committed a foul in his life, it’s impossible. Man, remember when Tim Duncan used to actually be respected for his class and skill?), and of course grandpa Horry who now takes his game winning shots on other players instead of the basket.

Yeah, it’s been filleted to death, but the fact remains David Stern isn’t fit to be running a Dairy Queen. You’ve got people getting feloniously battered on the court intentionally with no consequence, yet suspensions are handed out for walking a few feet away from the bench. I realize that’s “the rule” so you can’t make exceptions for star players, but the fact is once its proven how moronic a rule is, it should ripped out of the book and incinerated that instant.

You want to prevent bench-clearing brawls, suspend players who leave the bench and join the fray during a fight, simple as that. Why suspend someone for simply leaving the vicinity of the bench, that's pointless. But let's not forget this is the NBA, where David Stern is more worried about instituting a mandatory dress code than rules prohibiting players from intentionally trying to injure other players.

Despite being handcuffed for Game 5, the Suns still played well enough and should've, could've, would've won, if they hadn't let all their hard work fizzle away in the final moments. So in the end they have to ultimately blame themselves for losing the series. And Game 6 was just a joke, way to get some redemption, Phoenix. Besides Steve Nash, did anyone on the court even care? And for being one of the most nonchalant and positive guys in the league, as the series went on you could tell all the BS was even getting to him. By Game 6, the blood vessels in his head looked like they were about to erupt after every call and non-call (justifiably so though, he was getting molested out there). On the pissed off scale he was at 8.3, and at 8.6 he would have fired a bullet pass at Pigpen's dome.

I also bet Steve appreciated that he was just embedded in a war of a series only to look across the country and see Cleveland get a free pass into Conference Championship. A Gilbert Arenas-less Wizards team that stumbled into the playoffs by default and a .500 Nets team, are you kidding me? I like Lebron as much as the next guy and I want to see him flourish as a player, but these series shouldn't even have been series and he should have been torching these teams for 45-15-15 every night.

Let's be honest in a best of 17 series vs. the Suns, the Cavs wouldn't win a game. Can we like cancel the Eastern Conference or something and just compose the playoffs of the best 15 teams from the West and the Pistons? If I have to sit through one more 6 or 8 point quarter, I think I might start watching hockey.

It doesn't help when you're forced to sit through these exhibitions of ineptitude in order get to the real games, which subsequently don't start till 9:30 and 10:30 at night, which is simply torturous for people on the East Coast not on welfare. I get that Western Conference teams are in a different time zone, but we're already penalized by the caliber of basketball played in this region, why add insult to injury and prohibit us from being able to watch the games that don't suck?

I tried to do the responsible thing at first and just not watch the late games altogether, but as the series wore on and each game within got more critical, I justified my stupidity by saying if I see a great game and my squad wins, it will be worth. But when what actually transpired transpires, and the freakin' game doesn't get over till 1:30 and I have to get up at 5:30, my whole day at work is spent saying The NBA, it's FANNNNNNNNtastic!!