Hands Full of Nothing

The more I live life, the more I come to realize it will never make sense to me. Like how someone can have everything, basically, yet they can only focus on the things they don't have. And the fixation on these things make everything else seem irrelevant. This is how we live our lives: looking for something, chasing something, always wanting something more; never appreciating the things we have. We're taught to look negatively on complacency and praise ambition, but what's the point of being driven if you never embrace the destination? Of course life is about the journey, not the end, because the end is your end, the cessation of your existence, so your instinct is to continue to strive.

Thus we live like parasites and leeches, using each other for our own benefits and gains. I myself feed off competition, the exercise of winners and losers; it's an endless cycle because the stimulation of success gives your life purpose. But only a few can win, and many lose, and no one can win all the time, so the dire cycle eventually destroys us all.

So are all of our gestures in life just meaningless acts meant to delay the inevitable? Not if we learn to appreciate what we have and find a way to transcend our innate self-centeredness. No longer feeling like I'll be happy if I just had ________, because once we obtain these things, we're going to gaze around and the things that we had, and truly mattered along, will be gone. The relentless sensation of emptiness is only in our minds, we're trained to feel this way, to consume life, but in reality it's only consuming us. Everything we really need, we already have, and what we don't, we get by living, not hunting.

The happiest people in the world are the ones that live inside each moment instead of for the next. It's no wonder that when people are on the verge of death that they see life so clear, and few have no regret. When one can no longer look forward in life, they have no choice to look back, and it's then that they realize how much of it they wasted on frivolous things.

I've come to believe it is possible to be truly happy in life, accepting that I'm not there now, or perhaps that is just my ambition creating another destination. Or maybe I am already truly happy, at least have everything I need to feel that way, I just haven't opened my eyes yet.