Valentine's Day

Dear Tiffani,

This February 14th could, would be mine?
Would thou do thee honor of being thy Valentine?
Now I know it may be awkward since you already have a spouse
But we're all mature adults so I'm sure we can work it out
Like I don’t even mind if he stays outside in the guesthouse
Because to me it just seems like we got this special thing
Like I dream and while you’re oblivious to everything
I guess it all started back when I was twelve
I got hip to a shizzow called Saved by the Bizell
Then like an angel from Heaven I saw this chic name Kel
And I thought, “Golly gee, that girl sure is swell”
But then I realized she’s the most popular chic at Bayside
I mean what could I offer her that chic way too fly
And even if I tried, I know Jesse would be a hater
Telling her I’m some chauvinistic pig like that dude called Slater
Not even that goofus Screech would have had my back
Instead of supporting me he would’ve had helped that punk ass Zack
So it was all so hopeless and it all seemed
Like after you two got married that was the end of my dream
But when I woke up you had moved to Beverly Hills with Ian Ziering
But now I was kind of scared of you because you were kind of being mean
So I then accepted that I would never get you to have dinner at my place
But that all changed when I saw you on myspace
So I sent you a message and it felt really great
That was until I realized the page was made by some gay guy named Raik
I was so mad the whole thing was fake
I could have popped and locked on that dude like a broken gate
Even now I still refuse to believe we will always be apart
So please be my Valentine and that would be a start
If you at least consider it, that would be really cool
because I’m tired of telling my people you're my girlfriend and looking like an asshole